The tale of Richard Peacock

by S.J.S.Blackburn

When you have reached the pinnacle of your sporting career, as Richard did in being a member of the '92 Dream Team, the only way is down. He now leads a sad and empty life, devoid of meaning, in Ramsbottom(near Bury if you're interested) as proven by the satisfaction he ostentatiously shows in having the best hanging flower baskets in the Street.

Richard is very proud of his Vauxhall Corsa to which he applies 'turtle wax' cockpit shine every other day, but is intensly irritated that wife Kayes company Fiesta 'goes better'.

On Matters cricket, he bats like Keith Miller, bowls like Windy Miller and throws like a girl.