Signed up by the once mighty Shed after he heard of the man’s appetite for beer and cigarettes, qualities which Shed holds very highly.
Suffers from the life threatening disease of Gout but has learned to live with it by doubling his alcoholic intake under the guidance of Shed.
Unfortunately for the rest of the team Gouty suffers from the same affliction as erstwhile KMCC fast talker - Dibbley - that of an inability to say nothing.
The former West Indian bowling coach who once tried to tell the legendary Courtney Walsh how to "bowl to contain" has now taken it upon himself to pass on his vast knowledge to the K.M.C.C. attack whether they wanted it or not.
A top order batsman of unrivalled quality with footwork to match and then he wakes up in a cold sweat. Flashes of slogging mastery littered among a torrent of low scores keeps the man firmly rooted in the lower order (although one of the few players to have recorded a hundred for KMCC - Duncan et al take note!!!).
A master in the field when the ball comes within 6 inches of him otherwise he’s buggered. The only player in living memory that manages to make Shed look like Linford Christie on Viagra
A useful change bowler and "golden arm" partnership breaker who has mastered the art of ‘bowling to contain’. Let down by his fitness which means that he blows up after 4 overs as the need for nicotine and an oxygen mask sets in. It is fortunate that the KMCC president provides emergency medical cover at all times for the peace of mind of the rest of the team.
Alcohol, pie and nicotine consumption.
Alcohol, pie and nicotine consumption. A sometimes annoying need to pass on his knowledge to whomever.
Rumoured to share a house with his girlfriend though there have been no verified sightings. Bigfoot has been spotted more times over the last few years.